Tenali Rama

Satire : Look what Trump wants to mediate about

By Tenali Rama (Follow @Iamtenalirama )

US President Donald Trump has offered once again to mediate between India and Pakistan on the contentious issue of the red carpet. Pakistan Prime Minister Imran Khan who met Trump complained that the red carpet that was laid out to welcome him was much much shorter than the red carpet that greeted Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi in the USA. 

“Look at the comments on the social media, it is being ridiculed as a doormat,” complained Imran Khan when he met Trump.

“I agree with you. People have treated Pakistan very badly,” replied Trump, uncharacteristically a touch apologetic.

Sources in the Oval Office told Tenali Rama that India had successfully managed to conduct a surgical strike on the red carpet for Imran Khan. 

“It was a secret In and Out operation by India. They ambushed the store and cut the length of the red carpet and exited even before Pakistani officials could react. POTUS was not in the loop. Otherwise he would have persuaded his friend PM Modi not to increase tensions and give a bit of his red carpet to Imran. Frankly, the contrast in the two red carpets was an embarrassment,” said an American official. 

India is not happy with Imran’s attempt to hyphenate the two red carpets.

“We bought our red carpet for 370 USD. You cannot even compare the two carpets in terms of quality,” said a Foreign ministry spokesperson.

Trump however, plans to persuade Modi to soften his stance a bit when the two leaders meet on Tuesday.

“I think I would be a very good arbitrator. Both PM Modi and PM Khan are my friends,” said Trump who has offered to lend a red carpet from Trump Towers in New York for Imran Khan to use till such time the dispute is settled. 

“It is a very fine carpet. Great carpet. Trump Towers should get the Nobel Prize for the best carpets if they give it fairly. Don’t believe New York Times that says it is a bad carpet. They publish fake news,” said Trump.

But India has ruled out any third party mediation on the issue of the red carpet. 

“Two issues are completely off the table – Kashmir and the Red carpet. Just like all of Kashmir including PoK is ours, our red carpet is ours. We will not allow Pakistan to take even an inch of our carpet. In fact, very soon, we will take away even the small red carpet that Imran had,” said India’s Home minister. 

(This is a work of satire)

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